IC: tiny truth post ftw

[maleborgia]

*All things aside, Cesare still uses the library frequently. He might not spend as much time in it, but he's been coming and going a lot and so happens to be inside it when a little bubble of annoyance thank you, Camp encircles it...*

Comments

[maleborgia]

I did not want my name attached to it.

I thought it would have been more of a deterrent this way as well.

[sharpasafawkes]

Cesare, everyone knows you've got your ties to him. If Spain came in and had a go at us we'd wonder why you decided to go on the attack, even if we were on perfect terms.

So why didn't you want you r name on it? you thought he'd retaliate?

[maleborgia]

Of course.

[sharpasafawkes]

[god there all the feelings in this look]

[maleborgia]

[sharpasafawkes]

This is what I hate, there's no remorse. You say you've taken it all to heart, but what have you changed about it?

[maleborgia]

I never said there was no remorse.

[sharpasafawkes]

Is there?

[maleborgia]

...

Not for everything.

[sharpasafawkes]

Then for what.

[maleborgia]

For failing you.

*...welp. not what was intended.*

[sharpasafawkes]

[Just. A long sigh]

You haven't, not yet anyway.

[maleborgia]

And how would I? Leave the more ridiculous answers out of it, I have heard them enough.

[sharpasafawkes]

Tell me what those answers are, first.

[maleborgia]

What you were accusing me of earlier.

[sharpasafawkes]

How have you changed, then?

[maleborgia]

*just shakes his head. no, this is not something he is comfortable or willing to go into the way things are, and it's not like he's even known how to answer, anyway.*

[sharpasafawkes]

[Just shaking his head a bit]

Then what am I supposed to say?

[maleborgia]

I am not entirely surprised that you needed such qualifications to begin with.

[sharpasafawkes]

Look at it from my way, you find out what looks like you student breaking his word behind your back, you confront him about it, and he only acts annoyed. He won't tell you how it's not true, just that it isn't, and even when he's saying he feels regret about something, he still looks cross at best, and unwilling to change at worse. I told you that I want to believe you, but if you were in my spot, would you?

[maleborgia]

Of course not.

[sharpasafawkes]

So what am I supposed to do? For weeks I've felt like you've betrayed me, I've been hating myself for "letting you take advantage of me", frightened that I'd endangered the entire barn, including Elena- who stays out of this sort of thing, thank god-

I've been thrown out of my position for doing what we both agreed to. Think about it, how many times have you torn me a new one, and how many times did I give in? And what happens when I keep my end, eh? If I'm lucky you'll give some sort of half-apology and act like everything's fixed. If I give you a few centimeters to work with you never leave it at that, you carry off about ten times that and act like it's perfectly fine. That's why I dredge up old ditches, the normal methods don't work with you, as a child or a teenager. This was the first time I dug my heels in and said that it was important enough to stand my ground on, this was the bloody first time.

[maleborgia]

*he had been sitting back against the chair throughout this conversation, but now he leans forward a little, shifting his weight and gesturing with one arm still on the armrest*

You misunderstand me. There is no sense in offering an apology that is not genuine, at least in his situation. I have not lied to you in quite some time. However there is also no sense in bluffing and throwing up false threats. I am not asking you to forgive me and you have no need to justify your actions, although I do appreciate being given the chance to understand.

[sharpasafawkes]

[stiffens, yeah there was something horribly worded there, buddy]

[maleborgia]

*oh, he doesn't care.*