So what am I supposed to do? For weeks I've felt like you've betrayed me, I've been hating myself for "letting you take advantage of me", frightened that I'd endangered the entire barn, including Elena- who stays out of this sort of thing, thank god-

I've been thrown out of my position for doing what we both agreed to. Think about it, how many times have you torn me a new one, and how many times did I give in? And what happens when I keep my end, eh? If I'm lucky you'll give some sort of half-apology and act like everything's fixed. If I give you a few centimeters to work with you never leave it at that, you carry off about ten times that and act like it's perfectly fine. That's why I dredge up old ditches, the normal methods don't work with you, as a child or a teenager. This was the first time I dug my heels in and said that it was important enough to stand my ground on, this was the bloody first time.